As you may already know, Freda joined the Lord and other loved ones in heaven this last Thursday. She "fought the good fight, finished the race, and kept the faith. Now she has received the crown of righteousness" 2 Timothy 4:7.
My family and I thank you for your prayer and support, especially over the last ten years of her battle. We invite you to join us this Saturday, November 21 at 10:00am for the celebration of her life and faith and to worship together as a body of believers.
You will find below information that might be helpful to you. Freda and I pray God's best blessings for you.
We celebrate the life and influence of Freda Marlene Crawford, who was born in Lake City, Florida, October 12, 1949 and joined Jesus Christ and other loved ones November 12, 2009. Freda was an accomplished woman. She was an honors graduate of Columbia County High School, and then the president of the student body at Lake City Community College. She completed her B.S. from the University of West Florida and her M.Ed. and Ph.D. in Science Education from the University of Florida.
For 17 years she taught science at Buchholz High School until she was diagnosed with multiple myeloma in 1999. After treatment, she completed her Ph.D. and taught as an adjunct professor in Science Education as long as her health allowed.
More important to her than work and education was her family. She modeled the love and support of a faithful wife, mother, and then grandmother of four-- with boundless energy and excitement. Her family was the joy and the focus of her life.
But even more important to her was her faith in Christ. Having made a commitment of her life to Christ at the age of nine, she became a life-long, devoted follower of His. Her faith was the driving force of her life, and in her everyone saw the embodiment of one of her favorite scriptures, “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” (Philippians 4:13) She stood alongside her husband of thirty-nine years, Gary L. Crawford, pastor of Westside Baptist Church for the past 28 years. She carried on her own ministry of prayer, teaching, music--as both an instrumentalist and vocalist--and engaged in mission work around the world. She profoundly loved her church family at Westside, and her shared ministry with them was a passion in her life. She was deeply grateful for their love and support as she battled her disease across ten years. This love and gratitude were expressed in her CD “Praise for God’s Sustaining Hand” and in the book that she and Dr. Fran Terhune edited for her husband, “In Celebration of Love, Marriage and Sex,” based on the Song of Solomon.
The work of the Florida Baptist Convention, especially the establishment of a Florida Baptist Children’s Home in the area, was also central in her ministry. From the Convention, she received the honor of “Pastor’s Wife of the Year” just a few days before her Homegoing.
She leaves a legacy of faith, love, courage, and commitment to family, ministry, and community. The song she sang on her CD, “Touch Through Me,” reflects the passion of her life; she said, “This song expresses my commitment to be available to Him.”
Her husband Gary, children (and spouses) John & Tina, Christa & Bill, and grandchildren Cade, Michael, Johanna, and Lachlan, mother Alice Mangle, and brother Ronnie Mangle wish to express gratitude to the many friends who have brought prayer and encouragement into their lives. We invite all to celebrate her life and faith on Saturday, November 21, 2009 at 10:00 am at Westside Baptist Church. Interment will follow at Hopeful Baptist Church in Lake City, FL at 2:00 pm. If you can't make it, it will be available to watch via live streaming on Westside's website.
Viewing will be held at Williams-Thomas Funeral Home (State Road 241) from 4:00 pm-7:00 pm on Friday, November 20, 2009.
In lieu of flowers, the family invites you make a donation to Westside Baptist Church (10000 Newberry Road, Gainesville 32606) for a Missions Scholarship that will be established in her honor.
Friday, November 20, 2009
Thursday, October 22, 2009
I’m sorry it has been so long since you heard from me. September was a very busy month. I was in the hospital three times dealing with issues related to the heart. The first two visits were a result of my passing out. They are not sure what happened unless maybe my blood pressure dropped drastically all of a sudden. Praise God Gary was around both times. Though it is hard on him, I am grateful to have him with me in such incidents. I was not injured in the first fall but head and face to ceramic tile did result in some cuts and bruises as a result of the second fall. Thankfully, the CT showed no concussion. The third visit (one day after being released from the second one) was because I could not get my breath. Almost three liters of fluid were drained from the area under my lungs. My lungs had been pushed up under my shoulder blades and the doctors wondered how I was managing to breathe.
After draining the fluid I could lay flat so they did a right heart catheterization to determine the degree of diastolic dysfunction in the heart. They found I had diastolic heart failure. This is a result of the heart muscle becoming stiff and not relaxing. Therefore, the heart cannot pump efficiently. This is the explanation for the fluid build up I have been dealing with since May. Even though there is no treatment for diastolic heart failure, they now know what they need to do to treat the symptoms.
I have also been in physical therapy and occupational therapy to try and strengthen my muscles. They were already weak after ten years of chemotherapy, but the seven hospital stays since the first of May have resulted in even more weakness. Because I am considered a fall risk when I am in the hospital, I am not allowed to get out of bed. Of course, this weakens the muscles even more. As a matter of fact, I now have my blue chariot (walker) that I use everywhere I go. It has a basket and a seat. I have assistance in walking, sit when I’m tired or dizzy, and have a place to put the phone and other items I may need. I could get used to that.
Hopefully, I am done with hospital visits and will begin to get back to a more “normal” life—normal for me that is. I am grateful that even though I may have been in the hospital a lot, at least I keep checking out. As long as I can be discharged, life is good.
With all the heart problems I have been off chemotherapy five of the last six weeks. That is of concern to us and the doctors. I also had a fat pad test (yes there is such a thing) during my last hospital stay and it was positive for amyloidosis. Amyloidosis occurs when amyloid protein, naturally produced in the body, is over produced (not uncommon in multiple myeloma) and the excess amyloid proteins are deposited in organs and tissues. These proteins may have been deposited in my heart muscle. This would result in stiffness and an inability to relax. I will be returning to the cancer center in Little Rock in the next few weeks to evaluate the status of the multiple myeloma and the amyloidosis. At that time a new treatment protocol will be developed to deal with both diseases.
During his battle with lymphoma, David Jeremiah wrote a book titled, A Bend in the Road. He opens with the following poem,
Sometimes we come to life’s crossroads
And we view what we think is the end.
But God has much wider vision
And He knows that it’s only a bend—
The road will go on and get smoother
And after we’ve stopped for a rest
The path that lies hidden beyond us
Is often the path that is best.
So rest and relax and grow stronger,
Let go and let God share your load
And have faith in a brighter tomorrow
You’ve just come to a bend in the road.
In the early months after my diagnosis I read Dr. Jeremiah’s book and found it very encouraging. I feel like my new problems are just a bend in the road. And, the bend is only the end if we don’t go around it. In his book he also refers to a book that analyzed some problems with modern counseling. The author states that in counseling we are often encouraged to dredge up unhappy events from the past. His suggestion is why not dredge up all the happy events, focus on them, and learn from them. That is what has to be done to keep us positive in life. Each “bend in the road” brings new challenges but it also brings opportunities for growth and for trust in God. “God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea. . . Be still and know that I am God” (Psalm 46:1,2,10b). I do not look forward to the treatment ahead, but I know God is in control and will be with me. After all, He knew about this ahead of time and has a plan.
October started out as a wonderful month. Our church family gave Gary and me an absolutely fabulous 60th birthday celebration. Yes, we both turned 60 and we are grateful to do so. It was a lot of fun to talk with and hug everyone. We also enjoyed reading the many cards and will enjoy the gifts. An artist in our church family also painted a picture of me. He did an extremely beautiful job. It is a tremendous gift for Gary and for all of us. Our church family really expresses their love and support in tangible, thoughtful ways. We are so grateful for them.
Well, would you believe I wrote the previous information and was going to proof it but before I had the opportunity to do so I was back in the hospital again? Last Friday I was entered with extremely labored breathing. The fluid had built up under the lungs again. They drained 3.5 liters on Saturday. This time I had a lot of pain after the draining and some episodes of lower than usual blood pressure, so I was in the hospital until Monday. To be back there so soon was hard, but as always there were good times during those days. Those good times included time with family and friends, opportunities to encourage others, and a set of nurses and techs that took excellent care of me. I also remember looking out my hospital window on Sunday morning. I had two views. If I looked down I saw a parking garage. If I looked up I saw beautiful puffy white clouds. Isn’t the view always better when we choose to look up? I remember as a child laying down in my grandfather’s pasture and looking up at the clouds. My cousins and I were always trying to see shapes of animals in the shapes of the clouds. Since that time I have studied and taught about clouds. I love to watch them. Sunday morning the clouds just seemed to be sitting there, but if you watched them long enough you could see they were moving. I immediately thought of God’s work in our lives. Sometimes He just seems to be sitting there doing nothing, but if we are patient we will discover He is moving and working in our lives. We just have to focus on Him to see it. After a while the clouds moved out of my view but I knew they were not really gone. And I knew just because God doesn’t appear to be in view at a particular moment, it doesn’t mean He’s not there. I believe He gives me those special times to say to me that He is there and He is working. He encourages and strengthens me and I am so grateful He does.
I will be getting regular chest X-rays until I leave for Arkansas on November 3rd to determine possible fluid build up so they can drain it before I leave. The need for testing and evaluation by the multiple myeloma specialists in Arkansas out weighs the potential risks involved in flying. By nature, I want to know what my medical condition truly is and the new treatment protocol. Please pray for Gary and me as we go. All of this is wearing him down more and more. We will have a nurse friend traveling with us so if anything happens he is not alone and she will also be able to help assess what needs to be done. (And, I get to visit with someone besides him.) Thank you so much for your constant prayers. I know God gives me strength and places me in the right places at the right times in answer to your prayers.
After draining the fluid I could lay flat so they did a right heart catheterization to determine the degree of diastolic dysfunction in the heart. They found I had diastolic heart failure. This is a result of the heart muscle becoming stiff and not relaxing. Therefore, the heart cannot pump efficiently. This is the explanation for the fluid build up I have been dealing with since May. Even though there is no treatment for diastolic heart failure, they now know what they need to do to treat the symptoms.
I have also been in physical therapy and occupational therapy to try and strengthen my muscles. They were already weak after ten years of chemotherapy, but the seven hospital stays since the first of May have resulted in even more weakness. Because I am considered a fall risk when I am in the hospital, I am not allowed to get out of bed. Of course, this weakens the muscles even more. As a matter of fact, I now have my blue chariot (walker) that I use everywhere I go. It has a basket and a seat. I have assistance in walking, sit when I’m tired or dizzy, and have a place to put the phone and other items I may need. I could get used to that.
Hopefully, I am done with hospital visits and will begin to get back to a more “normal” life—normal for me that is. I am grateful that even though I may have been in the hospital a lot, at least I keep checking out. As long as I can be discharged, life is good.
With all the heart problems I have been off chemotherapy five of the last six weeks. That is of concern to us and the doctors. I also had a fat pad test (yes there is such a thing) during my last hospital stay and it was positive for amyloidosis. Amyloidosis occurs when amyloid protein, naturally produced in the body, is over produced (not uncommon in multiple myeloma) and the excess amyloid proteins are deposited in organs and tissues. These proteins may have been deposited in my heart muscle. This would result in stiffness and an inability to relax. I will be returning to the cancer center in Little Rock in the next few weeks to evaluate the status of the multiple myeloma and the amyloidosis. At that time a new treatment protocol will be developed to deal with both diseases.
During his battle with lymphoma, David Jeremiah wrote a book titled, A Bend in the Road. He opens with the following poem,
Sometimes we come to life’s crossroads
And we view what we think is the end.
But God has much wider vision
And He knows that it’s only a bend—
The road will go on and get smoother
And after we’ve stopped for a rest
The path that lies hidden beyond us
Is often the path that is best.
So rest and relax and grow stronger,
Let go and let God share your load
And have faith in a brighter tomorrow
You’ve just come to a bend in the road.
In the early months after my diagnosis I read Dr. Jeremiah’s book and found it very encouraging. I feel like my new problems are just a bend in the road. And, the bend is only the end if we don’t go around it. In his book he also refers to a book that analyzed some problems with modern counseling. The author states that in counseling we are often encouraged to dredge up unhappy events from the past. His suggestion is why not dredge up all the happy events, focus on them, and learn from them. That is what has to be done to keep us positive in life. Each “bend in the road” brings new challenges but it also brings opportunities for growth and for trust in God. “God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea. . . Be still and know that I am God” (Psalm 46:1,2,10b). I do not look forward to the treatment ahead, but I know God is in control and will be with me. After all, He knew about this ahead of time and has a plan.
October started out as a wonderful month. Our church family gave Gary and me an absolutely fabulous 60th birthday celebration. Yes, we both turned 60 and we are grateful to do so. It was a lot of fun to talk with and hug everyone. We also enjoyed reading the many cards and will enjoy the gifts. An artist in our church family also painted a picture of me. He did an extremely beautiful job. It is a tremendous gift for Gary and for all of us. Our church family really expresses their love and support in tangible, thoughtful ways. We are so grateful for them.
Well, would you believe I wrote the previous information and was going to proof it but before I had the opportunity to do so I was back in the hospital again? Last Friday I was entered with extremely labored breathing. The fluid had built up under the lungs again. They drained 3.5 liters on Saturday. This time I had a lot of pain after the draining and some episodes of lower than usual blood pressure, so I was in the hospital until Monday. To be back there so soon was hard, but as always there were good times during those days. Those good times included time with family and friends, opportunities to encourage others, and a set of nurses and techs that took excellent care of me. I also remember looking out my hospital window on Sunday morning. I had two views. If I looked down I saw a parking garage. If I looked up I saw beautiful puffy white clouds. Isn’t the view always better when we choose to look up? I remember as a child laying down in my grandfather’s pasture and looking up at the clouds. My cousins and I were always trying to see shapes of animals in the shapes of the clouds. Since that time I have studied and taught about clouds. I love to watch them. Sunday morning the clouds just seemed to be sitting there, but if you watched them long enough you could see they were moving. I immediately thought of God’s work in our lives. Sometimes He just seems to be sitting there doing nothing, but if we are patient we will discover He is moving and working in our lives. We just have to focus on Him to see it. After a while the clouds moved out of my view but I knew they were not really gone. And I knew just because God doesn’t appear to be in view at a particular moment, it doesn’t mean He’s not there. I believe He gives me those special times to say to me that He is there and He is working. He encourages and strengthens me and I am so grateful He does.
I will be getting regular chest X-rays until I leave for Arkansas on November 3rd to determine possible fluid build up so they can drain it before I leave. The need for testing and evaluation by the multiple myeloma specialists in Arkansas out weighs the potential risks involved in flying. By nature, I want to know what my medical condition truly is and the new treatment protocol. Please pray for Gary and me as we go. All of this is wearing him down more and more. We will have a nurse friend traveling with us so if anything happens he is not alone and she will also be able to help assess what needs to be done. (And, I get to visit with someone besides him.) Thank you so much for your constant prayers. I know God gives me strength and places me in the right places at the right times in answer to your prayers.
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
A friend told me Sunday that sometimes she wonders why I have not updated my blog. Then she said she realized that it probably meant I was not doing well and she should pray harder. That is often the case. I always wait a couple of weeks until I have something new to report and then it seems illness and schedule contrive to keep me from updating it.
This time the initial wait was for results from the last labwork sent to Little Rock. The news was good! The myeloma markers were essentially unchanged. It has been so long since sending the last labwork that I should be sending more labwork next week. After waiting for lab results it has been a combination of lung issues, heart issues, and a busy schedule that have prevented me from writing an update. A couple of weeks ago my breathing became so labored that I needed to see my pulmonologist. He felt there was some fluid in and around the lungs and that the bronchial tubes were closing up some. His recommendation was to put me in the hospital to assess and make decisions (no thank you, been there done that), give me an effective medication for bronchial dilation (of course it may case AFIB, no thank you), or give me a 10 day dose of Prednisone (lets just add a second steroid to the myeloma steroid I already take). Of course I chose option three. It made me a little crazy and gave me what Gary and I call a “steroid head” at times. The “steroid head” is a fuzzy head, maybe slightly blurred vision, and difficulty walking. (I’m experiencing some “steroid head” today so I hope this update makes sense.) The side effects of the additional steroids were manageable and I began breathing better almost immediately. I am still breathing better than I was even though I finished the medication a week ago. Hopefully the improved breathing will continue.
The heart issue I have been dealing with is extremely low blood pressure. This is a side effect of the AFIB medication I take. The doctors were hesitant to give it to me because I already take medication to raise my natural and medicine induced low blood pressure. This past week it has dropped several times into the range of 60-63 over 38- 42. I cannot walk without holding on to something when this happens and I have to find a place to sit quickly. The disconcerting thing is that I do not know when it is going to happen so I have had to change some of what I normally do. After consultation back and forth with the cardiologist and trying one other thing we are lowering the dose of the AFIB medication, having me retain more fluid, and I am wearing compression hose part of each day. All of these carry a risk. The AFIB may return because the lowered dose will not work and the fluid may build up around my heart and lungs. I have been on this regime for two days and have not had an episode of AFIB so maybe the heart will respond to the lowered dose and I will be putting less medication into my system.
I do need to be able to get back to exercise. Up until this past year I have been able to maintain a certain level of exercise. With lack of exercise and the large doses of steroids I am losing a lot of muscle. I feel like the lady on TV who says, “I’ve fallen down and I can’t get up.” It is funny to watch the contortions I go through if I get down on my knees or sit on the floor! I just have to laugh at myself and get creative in my attempts to get up.
The busy schedule part of the update delay is full of good news. Gary and I celebrated our 39th wedding anniversary on August 21st. It has been an absolutely wonderful 39 years. I could not have made a better choice in a mate. Thank goodness God was guiding me in my youthful ignorance. We were able to take an overnight stay the week before our anniversary at Amelia Island. It is a beautiful place and the bed and breakfast where we stayed on the beach was fabulous. The weather also cooperated. It rained at times, but that made it cooler so I was actually able to go down to the beach and walk a little bit (heat zaps me quickly). As you might suspect, we over ate on the wonderful seafood in a couple of their award winning restaurants.
We also began our new church year this past weekend. Sunday is called Gator Day because we welcome the college students back, public school starts, and well we live in Gainesville. It is a great day all day long. This year we ended with a concert by the Annie Moses Band. One person said, “They are good enough for Carnegie Hall. I have never heard anything like it.” As I sat there enjoying the unbelievable talent and the variety in the type of music—from funny to serious faith based music—my heart was captured by the lyrics of one of the songs. The vocalist kept describing how much it meant to her, “when my daddy says I’m beautiful.” Tears filled my eyes for a moment. You see my father left my mother when I was a very small baby and I never knew him. When I was in my early 30’s I found out where he lived, but he died before I could contact him. I did contact a member of the family and they agreed for our family to meet with them. It was an emotional and informative time. One of my most vivid visual memories is watching my half brother walk in the room. He was the same size, had the same general build, and exhibited the same mannerisms as my brother. The only difference is he has brown hair and brown eyes and my brother has blond hair and blue eyes. My father’s wife sent me several pictures of my father, but we have not had contact since.
As I listened to the song about daddy, I felt some sadness but I also thought how it prepared me in my response to life. You see God placed a wonderful grandfather in my life. My mother, brother, and I actually lived with my grandparents until a few months before my 10th birthday and I continued to ride the bus to their farm until I was older. We also spent Sunday afternoons and holidays there with my aunts, uncles, cousins, and any visiting preachers or evangelists. Although my grandfather could not replace my father totally he had a great influence in my life. He did not say I was beautiful but I know he thought it, I know he loved me, and he did tell me I could do anything I set my heart to do. I do remember times when things would happen that would remind me I did not have a father like the other kids, but almost all of my memories are of the happy times with my grandfather. Somehow God helped me focus on what I had, not what I did not have. That was such a good preparation for the hard times in life. The key is where we focus and through God’s grace I grew up with a focus on the positive.
“Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice. . . Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things” (Philippians 4:4, 8). Paul wrote these words from a jail cell in Philippi. I think he understood about the importance of where we focus our thoughts. We make that choice moment by moment. It is not always easy, but when we slip it needs to be an immediate refocus on the positive. I find that when I am upset and turn to God He refocuses me very quickly. If it is a circumstance He will point out the positives if I will just listen. If it is a person and I will just stop and pray for them, He will help me see them from a different perspective. We each carry a lot of hurt and in the process often hurt others—sometimes totally unintentionally. I want to be forgiven when I hurt others so I need to forgive them.
Thank you so much for praying for me and my family. I will update you as soon as possible about the results from next week’s markers.
This time the initial wait was for results from the last labwork sent to Little Rock. The news was good! The myeloma markers were essentially unchanged. It has been so long since sending the last labwork that I should be sending more labwork next week. After waiting for lab results it has been a combination of lung issues, heart issues, and a busy schedule that have prevented me from writing an update. A couple of weeks ago my breathing became so labored that I needed to see my pulmonologist. He felt there was some fluid in and around the lungs and that the bronchial tubes were closing up some. His recommendation was to put me in the hospital to assess and make decisions (no thank you, been there done that), give me an effective medication for bronchial dilation (of course it may case AFIB, no thank you), or give me a 10 day dose of Prednisone (lets just add a second steroid to the myeloma steroid I already take). Of course I chose option three. It made me a little crazy and gave me what Gary and I call a “steroid head” at times. The “steroid head” is a fuzzy head, maybe slightly blurred vision, and difficulty walking. (I’m experiencing some “steroid head” today so I hope this update makes sense.) The side effects of the additional steroids were manageable and I began breathing better almost immediately. I am still breathing better than I was even though I finished the medication a week ago. Hopefully the improved breathing will continue.
The heart issue I have been dealing with is extremely low blood pressure. This is a side effect of the AFIB medication I take. The doctors were hesitant to give it to me because I already take medication to raise my natural and medicine induced low blood pressure. This past week it has dropped several times into the range of 60-63 over 38- 42. I cannot walk without holding on to something when this happens and I have to find a place to sit quickly. The disconcerting thing is that I do not know when it is going to happen so I have had to change some of what I normally do. After consultation back and forth with the cardiologist and trying one other thing we are lowering the dose of the AFIB medication, having me retain more fluid, and I am wearing compression hose part of each day. All of these carry a risk. The AFIB may return because the lowered dose will not work and the fluid may build up around my heart and lungs. I have been on this regime for two days and have not had an episode of AFIB so maybe the heart will respond to the lowered dose and I will be putting less medication into my system.
I do need to be able to get back to exercise. Up until this past year I have been able to maintain a certain level of exercise. With lack of exercise and the large doses of steroids I am losing a lot of muscle. I feel like the lady on TV who says, “I’ve fallen down and I can’t get up.” It is funny to watch the contortions I go through if I get down on my knees or sit on the floor! I just have to laugh at myself and get creative in my attempts to get up.
The busy schedule part of the update delay is full of good news. Gary and I celebrated our 39th wedding anniversary on August 21st. It has been an absolutely wonderful 39 years. I could not have made a better choice in a mate. Thank goodness God was guiding me in my youthful ignorance. We were able to take an overnight stay the week before our anniversary at Amelia Island. It is a beautiful place and the bed and breakfast where we stayed on the beach was fabulous. The weather also cooperated. It rained at times, but that made it cooler so I was actually able to go down to the beach and walk a little bit (heat zaps me quickly). As you might suspect, we over ate on the wonderful seafood in a couple of their award winning restaurants.
We also began our new church year this past weekend. Sunday is called Gator Day because we welcome the college students back, public school starts, and well we live in Gainesville. It is a great day all day long. This year we ended with a concert by the Annie Moses Band. One person said, “They are good enough for Carnegie Hall. I have never heard anything like it.” As I sat there enjoying the unbelievable talent and the variety in the type of music—from funny to serious faith based music—my heart was captured by the lyrics of one of the songs. The vocalist kept describing how much it meant to her, “when my daddy says I’m beautiful.” Tears filled my eyes for a moment. You see my father left my mother when I was a very small baby and I never knew him. When I was in my early 30’s I found out where he lived, but he died before I could contact him. I did contact a member of the family and they agreed for our family to meet with them. It was an emotional and informative time. One of my most vivid visual memories is watching my half brother walk in the room. He was the same size, had the same general build, and exhibited the same mannerisms as my brother. The only difference is he has brown hair and brown eyes and my brother has blond hair and blue eyes. My father’s wife sent me several pictures of my father, but we have not had contact since.
As I listened to the song about daddy, I felt some sadness but I also thought how it prepared me in my response to life. You see God placed a wonderful grandfather in my life. My mother, brother, and I actually lived with my grandparents until a few months before my 10th birthday and I continued to ride the bus to their farm until I was older. We also spent Sunday afternoons and holidays there with my aunts, uncles, cousins, and any visiting preachers or evangelists. Although my grandfather could not replace my father totally he had a great influence in my life. He did not say I was beautiful but I know he thought it, I know he loved me, and he did tell me I could do anything I set my heart to do. I do remember times when things would happen that would remind me I did not have a father like the other kids, but almost all of my memories are of the happy times with my grandfather. Somehow God helped me focus on what I had, not what I did not have. That was such a good preparation for the hard times in life. The key is where we focus and through God’s grace I grew up with a focus on the positive.
“Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice. . . Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things” (Philippians 4:4, 8). Paul wrote these words from a jail cell in Philippi. I think he understood about the importance of where we focus our thoughts. We make that choice moment by moment. It is not always easy, but when we slip it needs to be an immediate refocus on the positive. I find that when I am upset and turn to God He refocuses me very quickly. If it is a circumstance He will point out the positives if I will just listen. If it is a person and I will just stop and pray for them, He will help me see them from a different perspective. We each carry a lot of hurt and in the process often hurt others—sometimes totally unintentionally. I want to be forgiven when I hurt others so I need to forgive them.
Thank you so much for praying for me and my family. I will update you as soon as possible about the results from next week’s markers.
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