Well, I’ve teased about the Thursday curse in my life. It happened again. I had a tenth hospital visit (beginning with one in January 08) and they have all been on Thursdays. As I mentioned in my last blog, the cardiologist lowered the dose of the medication that controls atrial fibrillation to see if a lower dose would control the problem. Unfortunately, the atrial fibrillation has increased in frequency and duration as the weeks passed. Two of the chemo medications I take produce a lot of fluid retention. With the heart not working properly the fluid built up and the heart could not function well enough to pump it out. The week before the hospitalization, I was short of breath and knew something needed to be done, but I kept thinking the medications would stop producing so much fluid or the heart would begin to function correctly.

By last Thursday I was having difficulty breathing and walking. When I went in for blood counts my oncologist nurse immediately put me in a room and the doctor saw me. He called a cardiologist and the two of them decided I needed to be hospitalized. They ran a lot of tests and determined there was a little fluid around the heart and in the right lung and the left lung had a moderate amount of fluid. The pacemaker memory showed 17 episodes of atrial fibrillation in the last 23 days, several 3-5 hours in duration. They gave me medications to get rid of the fluid. I lost 17 pounds in 36 hours, but I do not recommend that weight loss program. The atrial fibrillation medication dose was raised and I was dismissed Saturday afternoon. The heart is adjusting and I have had episodes the last three days, but they have not been long and seem to be decreasing in strength and length.

As I was thinking about the “Thursday curse,” God brought a thought to my mind. There have been over 70 Thursdays since the first of January 08 and I have only been hospitalized 11 (one was long) Thursdays. That means I have had over 60 Thursdays that I was not in the hospital. Most of those hospitalizations were only 3-4 days. I think all the Thursdays I was not in the hospital and the shortness of the stays is something for which I can be thankful! As the Psalmist says, “Then will I go to the altar of God, to God, my joy and my delight. I will praise you with the harp, O God, my God. Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put you hope in God for I will yet praise him my Savior and my God” (Psalm 43:4-5). Why would I be downcast about the few days in a year and a half that I have been in the hospital? I just need to go to God and He will give me great joy no matter where I am. I have so much for which I am grateful. After all, I am still here and have a wonderful quality of life.

Gary and I leave for a conference in Washington D.C. tomorrow. As always counts are low and I am appreciative of a doctor who gives me the necessary injections and pills to take with me. I am also grateful to be going with greater energy than I have experienced in weeks. The doctors have also stopped my chemo medications for the week to give my body a break. I am excited to be going with Gary and about the conference. I am concerned about our nation and pray for her leadership. We will be interacting with some congressional leaders and gaining insights about the Washington culture. We will hear several speakers and one I really look forward to hearing is Anne Graham Lotz (Billy Graham’s daughter). After my diagnosis in 2000, I read her book, Just Give Me Jesus, and found it insightful, encouraging, and inspirational. Since then I have read other of her books. We plan to be back on Saturday and look forward to a fantastic day of worship at Westside on Sunday.

The last three weeks have been filled with many wonderful things. Because of the questionable level of one of the markers in March, I have sent lab work to Little Rock every two weeks in April. Praise God, even though the one marker is still a little high nothing else has moved up. I will not send another marker until the end of this month and will not need to return to Little Rock until July.

The side effects of the medications are no longer getting worse so I have had a better time in that regard the past three weeks. One of the things that really helps manage the side effects is exercise. I learned back in 2000 that exercise seems to work the by products (or something) through my system more quickly and helps reduce the negative effects of the medications. That fact has been substantiated in the last year and a half as my lung and heart problems interfered with consistent exercise and I experienced more side effects. The last three weeks I have been able to get more exercise and that has really helped keep side effects from increasing. I have had a lot of stomach pain the last four days and will undergo some tests tomorrow. Hopefully, I have just had a virus.

When I saw the cardiologist Tuesday of last week she released me to go back to “normal” activity. It is so good not to have to worry about injuring the surgery site by certain movements or lifting. She did say I was on too high a dose of one of the atrial fibrillation medications to remain on it permanently. Because I will take it for life she reduced the dose. My heart was not happy. I dealt with a lot of atrial fibrillations Thursday through Sunday morning of last week and am still having difficulty at times. Thank goodness the heart is gradually adjusting. I have been reminded just how weak I was those months before the surgery and appropriate medications. I am so grateful to have regained much of my energy.

Sometimes people tell me that I say I am well regardless of how I feel. Actually, when pressed I will briefly share difficulties that I may be experiencing, but I feel that to do more is complaining and that just makes me feel worse. It focuses my attention on the problem instead of the good things around me. I also believe that it is negative to our health. In Proverbs we read, “A calm and undisturbed mind and heart are the life and health of the body” (14:30 AMP). Complaining is also disobedient to the God who made us and loves us. We are told in Philippians, “Do everything thing without complaining or arguing” (2:14). God knows it is not best for us to complain.

I fully believe Psalm 146:5, “Blessed (Happy) is he whose help is the God of Jacob, whose hope is in the lord his God.” As F.B. Meyer said, “The education of our faith is incomplete until we learn that God’s providence works through loss. . . that there’s a ministry to us through the failure and fading of things. The dwindling brook where Elijah sat is a picture of our lives! ‘Some time later the brook dried up’ (I Kings 17:7 NIV) is the history of our yesterdays and a prophecy of our tomorrows. . . learn the difference between trusting in the gift and trusting in the Giver. The gift may last for a season but the Giver is eternal. If the Lord had led Elijah directly to the widow at Zarephath, he’d have missed something that helped make him a better man—living by faith. Whenever our earthly resources dry up it’s so we may learn that our hope and help are in God.” I have always been a happy person, but there is a sense in which I am even happier today than I was before the illness occurred. Through the illness I have seen God work in so many ways and have learned to trust Him more and rest more in His perfect love for me. As Ruth Myers says, “I praise You that the things that happened in my past, both enjoyable and painful, are raw materials for blessings, both in my life and in the lives of others” (31 Days of Praise). My prayer is that others will be blessed as I travel this journey. I certainly have been!