Tuesday I had an appointment with the cardiologist to follow-up after the placement of the pacemaker. I had experienced five days of the heart beating hard and causing me to be unusually tired. I had just been trying to make it through the holiday weekend to the appointment. They played the record kept in the pacemaker memory and connected me to a couple of other pieces of equipment. They were able to determine that I did have some arrhythmia, but the main problem seemed to be that the lower chamber was skipping beats. The decision was made to program the pacemaker to stimulate the heart beating 100% of the time. I did not know that pacemakers are programmed differently and usually stimulate a certain percentage of the beats. Since the reprogramming, the heart seems to be functioning properly. I look forward to healing from the surgery itself so I can again have full use of my left arm. (For now I cannot lift it above my shoulder or lift more than 10 pounds with that arm.)

Over these past three months, as I have dealt with heart issues, I have often questioned how healthy my heart is spiritually. It’s not hard to see that we cannot function at our best without a healthy heart physically. Why do we think it is any different spiritually? As I left the cardiologist on Tuesday my thought was that my spiritual heart also needs to be stimulated 100% of the time. I guess that is why it is so important to read God’s Word and spend time with Him in prayer. Paul tells the Colossians, “Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly” (3:16a). The psalmist says, “I have hidden your word in my heart that I might not sin against you” (119:11) and “Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light for my path” (119:105). His Word stimulates our spiritual heart to work right. Jesus says, “And when you pray.” He assumes we will pray. Paul also admonishes us, “pray continually” (I Thessalonians 5:16). Continually sounds like a 100% of the time.

Throughout all my treatments my heart has seemed healthy so it hasn’t received much attention. These past three months it has received a lot of attention. At times I may feel I am strong spiritually and therefore do not give my spiritual heart the attention it needs. I don’t want to wait until it is in trouble before I give it what it needs to be healthy. Just as my physical heart now needs constant stimulation from the outside, I know my spiritual heart needs constant stimulation from God. I again recommit to give my spiritual heart the attention it needs and deserves.

A lot has happened since my last update. I had been struggling with weakness and lightheadedness since before the last update, but could not figure out what was going on. Then last Thursday (1/8) I felt like I was going to pass out twice while driving to the oncologist’s office. They did the usual labwork and all was okay with that. They felt the passing out feeling must be related to the heart. I contacted the cardiologist and was admitted to Shands. A heart monitor showed that I not only had arrhythmia, but the heart was also pausing. At one point the pause was about 6 seconds. That doesn’t seem like much unless your heart is not beating. As I went to bed that evening the nurse told me they were afraid the pausing would increase as I slept and if it did they would have to wake me up and try to get it to pause less or they would have to do a type of temporary pacemaker. At 4:00 am the nurse came in and awakened me because the pausing was occurring too frequently. Thankfully, the pausing lessened as I stirred up so we did not have to do anything else right then.

I saw the cardiologist first thing Friday morning. As soon as I understood the options and gave permission, they took me into surgery and installed a pacemaker. Surgery went well and I was able to go home on Saturday and be in worship on Sunday. There are restrictions on the use of the left arm for six weeks. Hopefully, the pacemaker will take care of the pausing. Unfortunately, it does not address the arrhythmia. They have changed the medications and hope to control the arrhythmia that way. I have continued to have arrhythmic episodes and will see the cardiologist next Tuesday to see what needs to be done. The arrhythmia will not cause me to pass out, but it is physically draining when it occurs for a period of time. Meanwhile, cancer treatments continue and the disease seems at a stable level for now. Praise God it is not increasing. God continues to grace me with the ability to enjoy life and do many things that are important to me.

I am so grateful that God protected me and got me where I needed to be last Thursday (yes, it was another Thursday). It was a difficult decision for me to go to Shands at that time because we had a lot of commitments Thursday and Friday. I told the cardiologist to let me call her back about entering the hospital. Unsure what to do, I sat for a minute praying. God’s still, quiet voice gave me the direction I needed and I knew I should go to Shands. So often I am afraid I do not take a moment and ask God for His guidance in such situations and it is always my loss (and sometimes costs others) when I don’t. I can’t imagine what would have happened had I been home Thursday evening instead of in the hospital. Would Gary have awakened to an unconscious wife Friday morning? How often do we create our own pain by not stopping long enough to ask God for direction? He has promised, “The Lord will guide you always;” (Isaiah 58:11), “I guide you in the way of wisdom and lead you along straight paths” (Proverbs 4:11), and “You guide me with your counsel” (Psalm 73:24). He promises to direct our paths (Proverbs 3:6), but how can He guide if we do not ask and seek (Matthew 7:7)? We must stay in communication with Him and listen to Him throughout our day if we are to live life at its best. That seems so difficult in our busy lives, but it is absolutely essential. After all, what is really more important than our relationship with Him? And, there is such a quiet peace that comes when we know we are listening to Him! I have renewed my commitment to stay in constant communication with Him so I can live the days in 2009 as He wants me to live them.

HAPPY NEW YEAR! I pray you had a wonderful beginning to 2009. Gary and I did. I ended 2008 with fantastic Christmas celebrations with family and church family. Our children and grandchildren were able to be with us at extended family gatherings for my family and Gary’s family. Because my family gathering was held at the home of my now deceased grandparents, one of my joys was watching my grandchildren play with my cousin’s grandchildren where I had played as a child. It gave me time to reflect with gratitude on the Christian heritage we were all given.

I was in the hospital seven times in 2008 and all of the admissions were on Thursdays (the last being Thanksgiving Day). That made me especially grateful that I was home Christmas Day and New Year’s Day. Some of the nurses in my doctor’s office always ask on Monday if I made it past Thursday without going to the hospital. I wanted to take Thursday out of the week, but felt that was unfair to those who had good Thursdays!

On Christmas Eve morning I finished one of my goals for 2008—I finished reading through the Bible. As has been true every year I have done that, I learned so much and God spoke to me in many ways. If you have never read through the Bible, consider doing so in 2009. There are plenty of helps and guides as you do so. On that day it struck me as particularly significant to be reading from Malachi, knowing the Jews were looking for the Messiah, and then reading the last chapter of Revelation that ends “He who testifies to these things says, ‘Yes, I am coming soon.’ Amen. Come Lord Jesus. The grace of the Lord Jesus be with God’s people. Amen” (Revelation 22:20-21). As I celebrated His first coming, I was also looking forward to His coming again. Are you praying He will come soon?

I discovered last Sunday that teaching Bible study can be hazardous to your health. I stood to pray at the end of class, fell, and twisted an ankle. Though I attended worship in a wheel chair, applied icepacks, and elevated the leg, my Sunday activities were done. I really wanted to be in the evening service because we were ordaining a young man out of Westside into pastoral ministry and commissioning a member of my Bible study class for a four month mission trip. I am so grateful for the many God has called out of Westside over these 28 years.

Monday was my usual doctor marathon. At the oncologist’s office I needed shots for low blood counts and had an inspection of the ankle. Thank goodness it appears to just be a bad sprain, nothing ice and elevation won’t fix. Then time in the cardiologist office raised more questions. I have continued to have episodes of heart arrhythmia, though none as bad as those that hospitalized me, and hope a determination will be made this Monday on the proper treatment. There are additional concerns because of the cancer treatment, but that is going well.

The January Little Rock visit has tentatively been postponed until the first week in March. I will continue to mail labwork for their assessment and unless things change I will not have to go until then. That will also give more time to settle the heart issues.

My mother gave me a book by Max Lucado, Every Day Deserves a Chance. I like to read Lucado devotionally, that is a chapter a day. In chapter one he makes a good point about, “This is the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it” (Psalm 118:24). The “This is the day” includes everyday. We can’t change yesterday or control tomorrow so we are to rejoice in the day we are given. Notice that little word “in”. Lucado reminds us that “As Paul rejoiced in prison; David wrote psalms in the wilderness; Jonah prayed in the fish belly; Paul and Silas sang in jail; Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego remained resolute in the fiery furnace; John saw heaven in his exile; and Jesus prayed in his garden of pain. . . Could we rejoice smack-dab in the midst of this day?” I know that is one of my goals for 2009—to be grateful for and rejoice in each day God gives me. My suffering does not begin to compare to that of Jesus and the others listed above. And after all, God is in control and has a plan for me each day. As I rejoice I focus on Him and put myself in a position to hear Him and follow His direction. Pray that I will rejoice in each day this year.