Freda Update

Thank you so much for your prayers. We had a great trip to Little Rock. All tests showed stability of disease level and I am so grateful. However, due to persistent low blood counts and other side effects, the doctor decided to lower the dose of two of the chemo drugs. The hope is that these dosages will still keep the disease in check. I think they have given up on getting me back in remission, but I haven’t!

We got home from Little Rock about 9:00 Thursday evening. I had been aching and light headed all day but thought nothing of it since I deal with things like that off and on. I went to bed and was delirious all night. I could not wake myself up enough to call to Gary or get up and take my temperature. When I finally got cognizant about 7:00 am, I took my temperature and it was 101.7. I went to the doctor knowing I was in trouble and was entered into the hospital (notice, however, it was not a Thursday). Things got worse before they got better and Sunday afternoon I was having great difficulty breathing. The nurse contacted the doctor and he prescribed some new medications and added oxygen. I was better by the time Gary came from church Sunday evening. (Yes, I insisted he had to go. His message was important and as it turned out, the church family prayed for and loved on him and he needed that.) The problem was fluid around the heart and in each lung. The fever and tests also indicated infection. The first assumption was pneumonia but with additional tests the source of infection was unclear. My heart must pump better or this will be a chronic problem.

In the hospital I was given four different IV antibiotics, breathing treatments, oxygen, my regular medications, and other things. I was finally released Friday evening. One of the doctors was hesitant, but my oncologist felt it was okay and knew Gary was to leave Monday (7/20) for Brazil. The oncologist, his P.A., and the hospital nurses all worked to help me get out as easily and quickly as possible Friday evening. They all knew it was important for Gary to go and that he needed to see me home and doing better. They gave us a great gift by getting me home. I came home with infusers of IV antibiotics that I could administer myself and the necessary equipment and medications for the breathing treatments. Though I was weak, I have gained strength everyday. I have slept really well, have been able to eat more, and have been emotionally better off at home.

I was weaker after this eight day hospital stay than is usual for me so I have been taking it easier than usual. I am regaining strength everyday and hope to be back to “normal” soon. I may have shared with you from Sandy Lynam Clough’s book, And I Know He Watches Me. It was one of the books I read shortly after my diagnosis of multiple myeloma. In her battle with illness she writes, “I had arrived at a new ‘normal.’ My ‘normal’ had changed. It would change again and maybe again. But ‘normal’ now is the new situation I find myself in—circumstances I am powerless to change. . . There is Someone you can bring with you to this not-quite-comfortable new ‘normal.’ Someone who never changes.” Then she quotes Psalm 71:5-6 from the Amplified Bible, “For You are my hope; O Lord God, You are my trust from my youth and the source of my confidence. Upon You have I leaned and relied from birth; You are He Who took me from my mother’s womb and You have been my benefactor from that day.” If I find myself at another new “normal” as a result of the current issues related to my illness, it is faced with joy and anticipation because I know God has been with me since I was conceived and He will be with me in whatever “normal” I find myself.

Also, in speaking of courage, Sandy Clough said, “We can choose to live through the days before us, or we can choose not to live. Choosing not to live is cowardly.” I can’t imagine choosing not to live each day to its fullest. I know if God gives breath, He has a plan and purpose for me that day. And He promised, “Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you or forsake you” (Deuteronomy 31:6). I know when He gives life, He is right there beside me helping me live it.

I had a follow-up visit with the oncologist Monday (7/20) and he was very pleased with the way I looked and the way my lungs sounded. My counts had recuperated enough that the decision was made to restart chemo. Though neither of us wanted to do so, I have been off for two weeks and cannot stay off the chemo for any length of time. It is always bittersweet to restart the chemo—I don’t like the chemo but am grateful to be well enough to take it.

Gary will be in Brazil until next Tuesday. Please pray for all that God is doing there and pray for Gary’s peace of mind in regard to me. I say over and over again that I don’t want my illness to rob him of the ministry God has called him to do. He is with me when I need him and would be with me any time I asked him. I have a family and a church family that will take care of anything I need while he is gone.

Thank you for your prayers and support and may God give you the courage to live this day to its fullest.