My intent each day this week was to update the blog. Monday and Tuesday were full of appointments so it didn’t happen. I began Wednesday with a breakfast meeting with a group of wonderful women. We met to evaluate the January Retreat and discuss plans for our quarterly breakfast in April. I had other commitments and errands after the meeting so I was out until I went to dinner and responsibilities at church that evening.
By the time choir and ensemble rehearsals came about, I knew something was wrong, I just didn’t know what I was dealing with. When I got home I was having very hard chills so I wrapped up in a blanket and sipped on decaf coffee just trying to get warm. During the night I almost seemed delirious but could not wake up enough to take my temperature. I went to the doctor for my usual Thursday labwork. They took one look at me and sent me for a chest X-ray. They said if there was any sign of pneumonia I would have to go in the hospital. Got the picture? It is Thursday and the ensemble I sing with is scheduled to sing Sunday morning. That combination has resulted in a hospital stay every time. As I sat waiting for the chest X-ray I remembered what I said to the ensemble members Wednesday night, “Pray for me, but God already knows what is going to happen Sunday and He is in control.” I take such comfort knowing that what ever happens He allows it and will work it for the best in my life and the life of others.
I am grateful that it was only bronchitis and not pneumonia. I spent the morning at the doctor’s office getting IV antibiotics. I had a book to read and material to work on, but for the first time in a long time I just pushed back and rested during the infusion. Afterwards I ran several errands, went home for a late lunch, leaned back in a recliner and “vegetated” for a couple of hours, and then began work on our income tax return (one of my least favorite things in the whole world). As daylight was passing I looked outside and felt sad that I had not taken the time to praise God for an absolutely gorgeous day. I know He understood, but I wanted to thank and praise Him as images of the beautiful day and His care of me came to my mind.
Friday morning it was back to the doctor’s office for labwork and more IV antibiotics. They were concerned that my blood counts had dropped significantly from the day before so I received shots and was sent home with several prescriptions to help me through the weekend. They felt part of the reason I contracted the illness was the low blood counts the previous weekend. The shot I received on Monday was evidently too late.
I am definitely better today and am trying to complete some things before leaving for Little Rock early Monday morning. I will be in testing out there all day Tuesday. The only painful test, and the most important one, is the bone marrow biopsy. This will be the 28th or 29th biopsy since my diagnosis in 1999. Wednesday is reserved for any tests or labwork generated by Tuesday’s tests. I am scheduled to see the doctor at noon on Thursday for evaluation and the treatment plan. Our daughter-in-law, Tina, and our 20 month old grandson, Lachlan, will accompany me on this trip. We are looking forward to some extended time together. I am excited to get this time with them. I will also see people who have become friends over the last nine years. Little Rock trips always have many positives in the midst of the tests and concerns.
During the IV antibiotic infusion at the doctor’s office on Friday, I read and looked over a list of some of the books I read during those first couple of years of illness. What jumped out at me was that most of them were about prayer. God definitely was guiding my reading. There is no better discipline to help us keep a proper perspective in life. The writers of the books I read helped inspire me by their writing and their example. Paul wrote, “Join others in following my example, brothers, and take note of those who live according to the pattern we gave you” (Philippians 3:17). And, “You became imitators of us and of the Lord; in spite of severe suffering you welcomed the message with the joy given by the Holy Spirit. And so you became a model to all the believers in Macedonia and Achaia. The Lord’s message rang out from you not only in Macedonia and Achaia—your faith in God has become known everywhere” (I Thessalonians 1:6-8a). The writers of the books I read helped to guide my focus and enable me to write things like this in a journal, “Father, Help me follow your plan completely. I don’t want to miss my relationship with You or anything You may want to do through me. . . As I travel to Arkansas and to and from places here in Gainesville, please help me be sensitive to needs around me and use me to help meet those needs. You are so good to me! Thank You” (5/12-13/2000). As Paul reminds us, we are examples to others. How does our life encourage them to live?
Here are four of those books. I will share more at another time:
• Power in Praise by M.R. Carothers. He defines praise, gives practical uses of praise, extols the good things as a result of praise, and shares many illustrations of miracles brought about by praise.
• Prayer: Finding the Heart’s True Home by R.J. Foster. He speaks of prayer inward to Jesus as Savior and Teacher, upward to the Father as sovereign King and Eternal love, and outward to the Holy Spirit as Empowerer and Evangelist. We catch a glimpse of the heart of God and the “at homeness” we can feel in His presence.
• The Great House of God by M. Lucado. He uses the analogy of rooms in a house to teach principles from the Lord’s Prayer. Examples include the living room (when your heart needs a Father), the study (how God reveals His will), the furnace (because someone prayed), the roof (beneath God’s grace), and others. “’Then why,’ you might ask, ‘don’t more people feel protected, forgiven, or instructed?’ My answer is as simple as the question is direct. Most have not learned to dwell in the house. Oh, we visit it. We stop in for the day or even drop by for a meal. But abide here? This is God’s desire” (p. 173).
• Whole Prayer by W. Wangerin. This book deals with four important aspects of prayer: we speak, God listens, God speaks, and we listen. He gives practical ways to expand each of these areas. I think we often get stuck in the first area.
I will post an update when I return from Little Rock. I go with confidence and encouragement because of your prayers and the knowledge that God is in control regardless of results.
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