Happy Easter! This is such a glorious time of the year. I am grateful to God for sending His Son and grateful to Jesus for being willing to die for me. It is so appropriate that we celebrate Easter in the Spring when the earth around us seems to be coming to life. It’s as if creation is reminding us that we can have a new life in Christ.
Last Monday (3/30) I mailed lab work to Little Rock. I put in my usual email request on Thursday for lab results. No response. I requested results again Friday morning, through a different source on Friday afternoon, and still no response. I requested results again on Monday and still no response. When I still had not heard on Tuesday morning I began to wonder if something was wrong. The last time I had a lack of response like this it was because the results were bad and the nurse was waiting to hear from the doctor on what he wanted to do about my treatment. I also knew my doctor consulted with other doctors every Tuesday morning regarding difficult cases and I am certainly one of those.
As I went through the day on Tuesday, the probability of bad results stayed in the back of my mind. Though the temptation was there to be fearful and anxious, I made the decision to trust God and to remind myself He was in control. I began to mentally think through the upcoming months and things that may need to be changed if I had to return to Little Rock for treatment. “And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:7). I was amazed that though the possibility of bad results was there, peace permeated my thinking. I thank God that He truly does give us peace in all circumstances.
I finally called the center late Tuesday afternoon. A very apologetic nurse returned my call within the hour. She thought she had sent the results, wondered why I continued to ask for them, and then looking in her “sent folder” after I called realized she had not sent them. The markers are essentially the same as last month. There is one that bounced up but it is one that goes up and down more than the others and probably is nothing to be concerned about. I will send more lab work next Monday instead of waiting until the end of the month. This will allow them to see if this marker is back down and make sure that nothing else is going up.
The side effects of the medications are increasing some, but still nothing that interferes with my ability to function. It is all superficial. For example, platelet counts are down causing increased bruising so I sometimes look like I have been in a fight, fingernails continue to break, abdominal swelling is increasing, sores are developing in the mouth, and incoming hair may be thinning. None of these are really important relative to life. What they do is remind me that the important aspects of life are not physical—it is the inside, not the outside, that matters. I pray that the inside of me will become more beautiful with age, regardless of what happens on the outside. A Psalm that was especially important to me during the treatments in 2000 has been echoing in my brain these last few days. “Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings. My soul clings to you; your right hand upholds me” (Psalm 63:7-8). As always, if I focus on Him and all the wonderful things in this life, life is good and beautiful.
Jesus kept His focus on God’s purpose for His life to the end. As a result my life is changed. My prayer for myself this Easter is that I will keep my focus on God’s purpose for my life and thus help change the life of another. May you have a blessed Resurrection Sunday!
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